By Kelsey Fitz-Gerald
Reflecting on Child Safeguarding Week (7-13 Sept), I keep returning to one key question: How often do we ask our kids about safety? While we work hard to keep children safe and support their faith in Jesus, do we stop to ask what they think and want at church?
One of the 10 National Child Safe standards requires us to do just that:
“Children and young people are safe, informed and actively participate in the organisation”
As a church family, let’s intentionally include children in every part of church life, especially decisions and conversations about safety. There are many age-appropriate ways to do this, from toddlers to teens.
So what stops us?
After over 13 years in paediatrics, I understand that asking kids questions can feel daunting; you’re never sure what they’ll say! Yet it’s crucial to create safe spaces with and for them. Many adults also worry about “saying the wrong thing.” But engaging children directly is essential for their safety.
Think about the everyday conversations you already have:
- Why do we have fences around pools?
- Why do we look both ways before crossing the road?
- Why do we check shoes left outside for spiders?
Those are safety conversations. We simply need to extend them into our church setting.
At a recent training session, a man told me that when he and his brother were younger, their parents had some friends over for a BBQ after church. They were playing rugby in the back yard and both he and his brother felt uneasy around one of the men there. They told their mum after the lunch. “And to mum’s credit, she didn’t invite them over again. Years later we found out that that guy was in jail for child sex offenses. He hadn’t said or done anything at the time; it was just a feeling we had. But mum listened to us.”
This is a common story for kids. Something just doesn’t feel right but there’s no words or actions to describe why. That’s why intentional conversations about safety matter. When we model having conversations about BEING and FEELING safe, and demonstrate by our actions that we are listening to their concerns (like his mum did!), we create a safer space for kids.
Practical Ways to Include Kids in Safety Conversations
Here are a few simple activities your church can try:
1. Incorporate Safety into Your Teaching
Integrate messages about safety, healthy relationships, personal value, and boundaries into your regular lessons. Some helpful topics include:
- What is the Church? Why does it exist? What should it feel like?
- What does God think about kids? How does He see me?
- What does the Bible say about healthy relationships?
These topics naturally lead into important discussions about respect, belonging, and feeling safe.
2. Safety Mind Map Activity
Use butcher’s paper or a whiteboard to explore what safety means with your group. Divide it into categories such as:
- What does “safe” look like?
- Who are “safe” people?
- What does “safe” feel like?
- Where are “safe” places?
- What do “unsafe” situations feel like?
Let kids offer their ideas freely to help them develop language around safety and empower them to recognise it in real life.
3. Hand of Support Activity
Have each child trace their hand on paper. In each finger, write or draw one trusted adult they can talk to if something feels wrong. Include how they could contact that person: during school, via phone, at home, etc.
This activity works for all ages and normalises help-seeking.
4. Review Your Child Safety Policy with Young People
Invite older kids and teens to look at your child safety policy with you. Explain what it is, why it exists, and ask:
- What do you think is important when it comes to safety at church?
- What would you include if you wrote this policy?
- What’s working? What’s missing?
- Have you ever seen this policy in action?
If you ask for their input, follow up. Let them know what’s been changed or acted on. This builds trust and shows you take their feedback seriously.
5. Use Evidence-Based Resources
There are excellent tools and research available to support child safety conversations in church settings.
At your next Children’s or Youth Ministry meeting, choose a resource to review as a team. Ask:
- What’s one thing we could put into practice this month?
- How can we involve kids in this change?
When we prioritise learning and improvement together, we model the kind of responsive, humble leadership that builds a truly safe church.
Final Thoughts
Creating a child-safe church isn’t just about meeting standards; it’s about building a culture where kids are seen, heard, and valued.
When we regularly talk with children about safety, what it looks like, what it feels like, and what to do when it’s missing, we give them the tools to protect themselves and each other.
Let’s commit to doing more than just talking about children’s safety. Let’s talk with them.
Resources:
Various Activities and tool kit options for talking with kids and families about safety
Posters about being and feeling safe
Talking with Kids about online safety
Research:
Moore TP (2017) ‘Children and young people’s views on institutional safety: It’s not just because we’re little’, Child Abuse & Neglect, 74:73-85, doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2017.08.026.
Moore T and McArthur M (2017) ”You Feel It in Your Body’: How Australian Children and Young People Think about and Experience Feeling and Being Safe’, Children & Society, 31(3):206-218, doi:10.1111/chso.12183.
Moore T and McArthur M (2023) Take Notice, Believe Us and Act! Exploring the safety of children and young people in government run organisations: A report for the Tasmanian Commission of Inquiry into the Tasmanian Government’s responses to child sexual abuse in institutional settings, Commission of Inquiry into the Tasmanian Government’s Responses to Child Sexual Abuse in Institutional Settings, Hobart: Tasmania.
Moore T, Morag McArthur, Jessica Heerde, Steven Roche and Patrick O’Leary (2016) Our Safety Counts: Children and Young People’s Perceptions of Safety and Institutional Responses to Their Safety Concerns, Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse.
Robinson S (2016) Feeling safe, being safe: What is important to children and young people with disability and high support needs about safety in institutional settings?, Center for Children and Young People, Southern Cross University, Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse.
Russell D, Stewart J and Higgins D (2022) ‘Safeguarding in Church: Children and Young People’s Perceptions of Safety in Religious and Other Faith-Based Settings’, Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 38:088626052211175, doi:10.1177/08862605221117548.
